The Biggest Loser Award goes to the previous season's winner of "The Biggest Loser." After losing weight on national television, the winner gained it all back, and then some, making him the world's biggest loser.

The first Incredibly-Blatant Chutzpah-Filled Speech Award goes to Barack Obama for:

1. Announcing that the era of fiscal responsibility is now. It apparently wasn't ten minutes prior when he signed a bill with more than 900 earmarks on it. This bill had so many zeros in front of it that the printer exploded and made the signmaker at McDonald's throw up

2. His first comments on the healthcare bill passing the Senate. This bill lowers costs for consumers and businessmen and extends Medicare coverage for seniors. This after the bill that was passed cuts 500 million from Medicare makes it a penalty for small businesses to not pay for insurance for its employees, and will cost potentially trillions of dollars.

3. Telling the world that we shouldn't rush to judgment after Nidal Malik Hasan shot more than 30 fellow soldiers, killing 12 of them. Rushing to judgment apparently is used only when there is a white cop and a black professor in Cambridge.

4. Calling the attempted Northwest plane bomber an "isolated extremist." Just like the "isolated extremists" who bombed the USS Cole, killed more than 3,000 on 9/11, mowed down more than 30 at Fort Hood, killed thousands of soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

5. Making the Israeli settlements the biggest issue in the world while Iran marches toward nuclear weapons, Afghanistan gets worse, Iran burns, the economy is terrible, and unemployment reaches more than 10 percent.

The Most-Ridiculous-decision for wasting taxpayer money and causing panic in New York City Award is won by whoever in the Obama administration decided to fly Air Force One escorted by two F-16s over New York City for a photo op. I have just one word for this one: Photoshop!

The We-Want-to-Strangle-Your-Dad Award goes to Richard Heene and his wife for telling the world that his son was in a balloon that was floating over half the country.

The Richard Nixon Media Relations Award goes to Robert Gibbs and others in the Obama administration for declaring war on FOX News.

The Whose-Side-Are-You-on-Award goes to Eric Holder and Barack Obama for announcing that Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the mastermind of 9/11, and others would be moved from Gitmo to a few blocks from where the World Trade Center stood in order to stand trial. This was to show the world that our system provides the rule of law and fair trials. When asked about whether or not this provides the opportunity for Mohammed to be set free in New York, Holder replied that Mohammed will remain in prison even if acquitted. Sounds like a fair trial and model of justice for the world to emulate, doesn't it?

Barack Obama wins the "Most-Useless-Trips-to-Copenhagen-in-a-Year Award" due to his trip to pitch the Olympics for Chicago and the subsequent global warming meeting that ended up accomplishing nothing.

The Best-Column-Written-with-20-Minutes-Notice Award goes to yours truly for the article on my personal meeting and interview with Barack Obama.

The Most-Gullible-Person-of-the-Year Award goes to a very close friend of mine who asked if I really did meet Obama.

The Nobel Peace Prize Farce Award goes to the Nobel Peace Prize committee for picking a candidate who didn't do anything yet and for announcing the prize a few weeks before Barack Obama ramped up the war in Afghanistan. This is a committee made up of a lot of white guys who apparently have black guilt.  

The Worst-Way-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People-Among-the-Local-Jewish-Community Award goes to me. This award was won by constantly criticizing a candidate (Obama) who won almost 80 percent of the community's vote.

The Happy New Year's Award goes to you for making it through a very weird, bizarre year