| In memory of Bill Safire |
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| Written by Larry S. Pollak | |
| Monday, 25 January 2010 | |
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We lost one of my favorite columnists in 2009, and I missed his signature end of the year "Crystal Ball" column. To honor the memory of the Great Wordsmith of The New York Times, the late William Safire, ZTL, I will try my hand at what he did so well. Check it out. 1. During the coming year, Israeli Cpl. Gilad Schalit will (a) be freed from captivity in exchange for all the prisoners Hamas demands, including the notorious Terrorist Kingpin, Marwan Barghouti; (b) be freed from captivity in exchange for most of the prisoners the Hamas terrorists demand, but Barghouti will not be part of the deal; (c) be rescued by a bold Sayeret Rimon Israeli special forces mission; (d) still be a hostage, languishing in Gaza, as 2010 becomes 2011; (e) be freed, unconditionally, by his kidnappers, to show the world that Hamas is anxious for peace. 2. In 2010, President Obama will (a) engage in direct negotiations with Iranian President Ahmadjinejad to prevent Iranian nuclear weapons; (b) launch a pre-emptive attack on Iranian nuclear facilities; (c) lead the world in imposing serious economic sanctions on Iran; (d) give a lot of speeches about why Iran shouldn't have nuclear weapons; (e) assume full responsibility for doing nothing to stop Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons, while doing nothing to support the Iranian dissidents demonstrating in Tehran. 3. When the ten-month "settlement freeze" expires this autumn, (a) it will be extended and the Palestinians will agree to resume negotiations; (b) it will be extended, even though the Palestinians continue to refuse to negotiate; (c) it will not be extended and President Obama will blame Israel; (d) it will not be extended and President Obama will blame the Palestinians for refusing to negotiate; (e) Jimmy Carter will publicly admit "the Israelis deserve credit for trying." 4. The most offensive European government of the year will be (a) Sweden's for continuing to defend blood libels about Israel harvesting organs from Palestinians; (b) Britain's for again indicting Israeli leaders on trumped-up war crimes charges; (c) Norway's for proposing a European boycott of goods from Judea and Samaria; (d) Germany's for expanding trade relations with Iran; (e) Ireland's for establishing diplomatic relations with Hamas. 5. A crisis will threaten to topple the Netanyahu government in 2010, when (a) Bibi agrees to dismantle some Jewish communities in Judea and Samaria due to American pressure; (b) Bibi completely capitulates and offers concessions on the status of Jerusalem; (c) there is a surge of support for Kadima after Tzipi Livini is convicted, in absentia, of war crimes, by a court in England; (d) despite popular opposition, Bibi agrees to surrender the Golan Heights to Syria; (e) At his N.Y. trial, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed claims to be a Mossad spy. 6. The change in leadership that will be most consequential in 2010 will be when (a) Khadafy's son replaces him in Libya; (b) Mubarak's son replaces him in Egypt; (c) Andrew Cuomo wins his dad's old governor's office in Albany; (d) Bo Biden wins his dad's old U.S. Senate seat in Delaware; (e) Jeb Bush announces he will run for his brother's old job at the White House. 7. At its annual national conference, J Street will adopt as its slogan (a) "The Jewish Lobby for Palestine"; (b) "Pro-Peace (But not Necessarily Pro-Israel)"; (c) "Yes We Can Destroy AIPAC"; (d) "Do the Left Thing"; (e) "Yaba Daba Doo." 8. The most-talked-about result of the 2010 campaign will be (a) Josh Mandel's election as Ohio Treasurer; (b) Steve Stivers's razor-thin defeat of Rep. Mary Jo Kilroy; (c) how close Minority Leader Boehner got to being Speaker of the House; (d) Jim Traficant's upset victory over Rep. Dennis Kucinich; (e) Richard Cordray's re-election as Attorney General. 9. The Headline of the Year will be (a) "Palestinians Invite Jews to Live in West Bank"; (b) "Hamas Defeats Fatah, Takes Over Palestinian Authority"; (c) "Hezbollah Disarms, Seeks Lebanese Peace with Israel"; (d) "Goldstone Admits Pressure to Demonize Israel in U.N. Report"; (e) "Obama Moves U.S. Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem." 10. In 2010, (a) Hamas will make peace with Fatah and then negotiate real peace with Israel to finally end the conflict; (b) the Palestinians will recognize Israel as a Jewish state, and forego "the right of return" by descendants of Arab refugees; (c) the Palestinians will accept undivided Jerusalem as the eternal capital of Israel; (d) the Palestinians will agree to end the armed struggle completely, and resolve any future disputes through diplomacy; (e) you are drinking adult beverages, or smoking something illegal if you think there is any chance whatsoever of (a), (b), (c), or (d). The correct answers are: (b),(d),(c),(b),(a),(e),(b),(d),(b), and sadly, (e). I think Mr. Safire would have agreed. |
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